I’ve been a bit of a hermit lately. Summer’s racing to a close and I find myself, still, sitting in front of this gigantic monitor watching the words dance across the screen. Life…beauty…ugliness…pain…ecstasy…sorrow…hope…, all reduced to a font size and type. Such has been my life for the past year. I don’t regret it. I relish it. Somehow, in all the turmoil and wrenching pain, I’ve rediscovered the one thing that makes me happy; the one thing I’ve been running from all these years.
My life has taken countless turns. I’m an accomplished actor. I’ve assumed many roles: an athlete, a painter, a musician, a scholar, a conformist, a success, an outlaw, a drunk, and an asshole. It’s been a hell of a ride but I’m stepping off. I failed miserably. The one thing I’ve ever, truly wanted to be was the one thing I feared most. I’m through running. I’m a writer. That’s all I’m ever going to be. And, with that one god damned surrender, I’m finally at peace.
I don’t have dreams of bestsellers. But I know I’m working on something that could be. I only know what makes me happy. And, I also know that my happiness can be conveyed to others. And that is the whole…motherfucking…point of our stay.
I’m glad that technology has brought us to the point that we can express our feelings to the world. I apologize for such dribble, but sometimes I have to abuse my privilege. This is a freak show after all.
I really do have a point to all this bullshit (hey that’s what I do). What I really set out to say is very simple. I’ll be away for a few days. I’m taking a needed vacation. I’m going to a music festival with about twenty thousand of my closest friends. If I can get a decent Wi-Fi signal I’ll share some of my experiences. If not I’ll share them next week, or not.
Peace and love my friends. And thanks to all that got to the end of this silly post.