World’s Most Interesting Man Survives 13 Months Lost at Sea


Legend has it his beard alone has experienced more than lesser men’s entire bodies,  Some say his charisma can be seen from outer space.  He is the most interesting man in the world,

Now the Man can add survivor castaway to his infinite list of amazing feats.  The Most Interesting Man in the World, whose given name is Ernesto Lamas. was found last Thursday, trudging through the shallow surf of Ebon Atoll in the Marshall Islands, pulling a 24 foot fiberglass boat behind him.

Adrift in the Pacific for over a year, Lamas emerged on the beach to the cheers of locals who instantly recognized him despite his uncharacteristically wrinkled shirt and slightly disheveled appearance. A crowd of local admirers, mostly female, had grown to about 100 before Marshall Island Officials were able to escort him away for questioning and medical attention.

Ebon police official, Jee Ling, reported Lamas to be in good spirits and fair health despite his apparent 13 month ordeal.

“When we saw him we couldn’t believe it”, said Ling.

“He was so interesting,  We were honored to speak with him and have no doubts about the fascinating tale of survival he shared with us”

Lamas arrived Monday to the Marshall Islands capital Majuro. Strolling down the gangplank with a can of Dos Equis, sporting an Armani jacket and khakis, Lamas waved and smiled to a throng of thousands before being whisked away for a news conference.

The World’s Most Interesting Man held a throng of reporters from around the world in rapt attention as he recounted a harrowing tale of survival that would have surely been fatal for average mortals.

Lamas told reporters that he and his faithful man-servant set out from Mexico in late 2012 for what was meant to be a three-hour fishing cruise.  An unexpected storm pushed their small craft off course and engine failure caused them to float with the current for what would prove to be a 6,000 mile odyssey of epic proportion.  His man-servant could not survive the entire journey however.

“I was preparing a meal of fava beans and had just uncorked a nice bottle of Chianti when Juan began to scream and jumped overboard” he told reporters.  “I tried to save him but sadly I failed.  He was a good and faithful friend and I miss him.”

Lamas told reporters how, incredibly, he managed to survive for over a year with few provisions and no fishing equipment.

“When I was thirsty a drank rainwater collected in the shells of turtles”, he said,  “When I was hungry, I simply snatched a passing fish from the water and ate” …” I had no need for a fishing rod or net:”

When questioned why he didn’t carry fishing tackle, he replied, “Do you know who I am my friend?”

Following the news conference, Mexican ambassador Juan Alvarez, speaking on behalf of Lamas, said he had absolutely no reason to question the account of Lamas’ incredible ordeal.

“He is a national treasure and we are blessed to have him back with us safe and sound”, Alvarez said.  “We have no reason to doubt him.  We just question him because we find him so interesting”.

As for future plans, Mr. Lamas was non-committal except to say, “My immediate plans include a fine Cuban cigar and 20 year old cognac.”


About Phil

Hi, my name is Phil. I’ve managed to escape the corporate world, rid myself of excess belongings, travel the country extensively in my old Winnebago, and find a new home on a beautiful barrier island in the Gulf of Mexico. I define myself as: a free spirit, a writer, a philosophical anarchist, a poet; a lover of nature, a lover of art, a protector of animals, as well as a devoted friend and partner
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